It was a lovely Friday evening in Auckland and we decided to end our workshop slightly early for everyone to get back to their families. Tom stepped up to me and asked if I could spare some time for him. He was a Sales Director and wanted some coaching. My flight was only the next day back to Singapore and we decided to meet on Saturday morning for a post-breakfast coffee.
Auckland is a beautiful city – I could still recall the sun-soaked pier where we sat down at a table, with seagulls screeching all around. I could see the multiple boats ferrying tourists, perhaps taking them for some whale and dolphin watching. We started talking about managing time, building teams, leveraging talent and utilising technology.The conversation naturally veered towards customers and I asked him “What would it take for you and your team to make every meeting memorable for your customers?”. He started to think and came up with a few good pointers – I could sense that all of these related to reason and not connected with emotion. It was important for Tom to realise and appreciate the power of emotion.
I switched perspectives then to ask him “Tell me about your most memorable meeting this month”. Without a moment’s hesitation, he said “This one. In fact, I think this is probably the best meeting I had this year”. I was taken aback but secretly very pleased. Rather than revel in the oxytocin, I decided to stretch his thinking “What specifically makes it so memorable?” He said ” Well, it is the genuine connection I feel with you – you really want to make me successful. You are asking the right questions to make me think, and I know that I am taking down a number of actions that will change my future”.
This was his moment of insight, and all I needed to do was to the reframe the context again. “So, what would it take for you and your team to have similar conversations with your customers?” He smiled – Tom was smart enough to understand what was now expected of him and his team. We wished each other well and promised to keep in touch.
I now realise that this meeting was memorable for me as well – I realised the power of a genuine connection, focusing on others’ success, and the power of asking hard questions in a soft way.
Can these simple skills make the world a better place? – Most certainly, and all it takes is for all of us to move from instinctual responses to intentional engagements, where everything is focused on making the other person greater. What is your set of life skills that is unleashing greatness in others?
