During a #coaching engagement, as the coachee is going through the developmental journey, there sometimes comes a situation when the Coachee feels that their life is less than ideal while the Coach appears to have everything sorted in their life and is approaching the zen state. The truth can be far from this assumption.

I once coached a senior #leader who had many things on his plate and getting stressed out and heading towards burnout. The development opportunity clearly pointed to establishing boundaries, developing ability to say no, appropriate prioritisation, and most importantly, need for self compassion and self-love. The coachee was clearly overwhelmed with so many moving platforms and at one point said, “Looks like I have messed up my life. Though I have attained a senior position, I dont seem to have developed the ability to keep calm when the storm is on”. Clearly, there was a lot of self-pity and low self-regard at this moment. He went on to add pointing to me, “Look at you. How gracefully you are having the conversation and how calm and composed you are present during the session” and he was using this statement to further drive the contrast.”

This is the moment I paused and mentioned to him, “ You should have seen me a few years ago before I became a coach. I was having a lot of self-induced and genuine stress from my job, taking a toll on my well-being and quality of life. I didn’t have a coach at that time. Luckily, you have a coach now to talk through things and enhance your life”

This was a moment when I was vulnerable and the coachee realized that he was not alone on the journey. This conversation developed trust between us and we ended up having a great coaching engagement resulting in the transformation of the Coachee.