This one habit or mindset displayed during a sport is still something that inspires me to take risks and it has helped me achieve a few unthinkable milestones. This is from the game of carrom board. I was not great at it but folks around me played really well, including my younger sibling, my maternal uncles, my father, and lots of family members. So as one can imagine I wanted to play and continue to sharpen my game. I basically didn’t want to sit on the fence. During the game, I’d lose many times as the family, when they got their turn, would finish all the coins. So when it was my turn, instead of trying to spoil other’s coins, I’d focus on pocketing my coins instead. Through this habit of completing what I can instead of focusing on what is uncontrollable, I have emerged successful. Till date when confronted with new territory I’d use this technique of focusing on what I know and uncovering more things that are familiar as much as I can.

I am an introverted person who communicates with very few people around me. The auto driver who drops me at school, the newspaper guy, the milkman – they used to ask me questions which I didn’t want to reply to. Not because I am shy, but because I just don’t want to talk and build a conversation with them.

When I eventually did begin speaking to people and began to build relationships, it didn’t go well. There would be some complications once we started talking and it made me close off again. A childhood friend I had in school taught me a lesson and inspired me to go on even if things didn’t work out.

Only later in life when I began to speak to people again did I realize that the benefit I got by not speaking was listening. I had spent my whole life learning to listen and observe. I can listen at times as well as balance conversations and start speaking to people when needed. I learnt to just be in the moment and not pressurize myself to engage with people a lot.

This is something I have been following right from when I was little. My grandmother always used to take me for walks in the morning. During the walk, she would ask everybody she met on the way, “Saapteengala?” (Did you eat?).

One day, I asked her why she does that. She told me that the question will remind the person of two things. One, that they need to take care of themselves and two, they will know that there’s somebody who cares about them also. She said it is a better question compared to Nalla irukeengala? (Are you doing good?).

This is because not everyone may be doing good at that point. We might make them feel worse, as they might be in a place where they can do nothing about it. Ever since then, I have been asking people around me if they have had their food that day!

Still, in villages, people are getting served with aluminium glasses and paper cups based on their caste. When I was little, my dad and I went to have tea in a tea shop. They served chai in different cups as mentioned above. I wondered and asked my dad, why?

He said this is caste and this is how it works. I believe that this is a thing that everyone should follow. And is reflected in my school when I ignored giving food to fellow students who belonged to another caste. The guy got hurt and he complained about my actions to my mother.

She came to me and asked, “Do you love your right hand or left hand”?

I said right hand because it serves food.

“So,” she asked, “a physically challenged person with one hand loves which hand?”.

I had no reply. She said, “Remember this for the rest of your life. Don’t degrade anyone by their profession. Love both of your hands. If you hate the left one, I will happily take it out of your body”.

And this is how my mother broke casteism from my head.

I shifted from the Gulf to India in 2015. I found it hard to fit in at school as people were very modern in Muscat. I was brought up as a very traditional girl and I used to go to school oiling and braiding my hair with traditional Indian artefacts. People couldn’t accept me and I was bullied a lot there. When I moved to Chennai, I was bullied for a whole new reason – I would always speak my heart out without thinking too much.

I had bad friends and ended up with a lot of insecurities. Back in eleventh grade, I made a good friend who told me to be strong and open about things without submitting to anyone. I should have the courage to embrace my identity and speak about things that need to be spoken about without seeking validation. I am a Hindu who wants to show my identity on my forehead – it is okay to show people how you want to live and show your identity with pride.

Social media has changed the way we think and people show a different version of their lives online. In real life as well, we seek validation and think we need to live in a certain way. We always put our best foot forward and hide the difficulties we are going through. I am a victim of bullying and let me tell you, it is not the same as teasing. It has changed the way I perceive life – the way I think, the way I act, and the way I am.

My story might sound very dramatic, but it is what changed my perspective in life completely at a very young age! I am an ardent cinema lover and I remember watching a Rajnikanth (an Indian film actor) movie, Shivaji back when I was in the third standard. The whole moral of the story was to earn and give something back to society. This movie and its moral had a very profound impact on me from a very young age.

I have been working on myself from that day to reach the sky. I want to ensure that at any moment, I can make a lot of money and serve the people. I want to make villages and agricultural lands prosperous with my hard work. I want to liberate the minds of young people and those living in rural areas. It was a very inspiring movie and thought-provoking message for me and I put this thought into all my work every day.

During my school time, I used to go to Bharatnatyam (a classical form of Indian dance) classes. When I was around 9 years, I had my first stage performance during which I danced perfectly and got appreciation from the audience. But, one thing I missed is the smile – yes, the very basic thing. Throughout, I had a terrifying look due to anxiety and my non-smiling face was prominent in the bright Bharatnatyam Makeup. Though the crowd did not notice, my mother found me and advised me to be smiling every time I dance as it adds to my beauty and character.

From that incident, the one thing I learned is to smile and be welcoming. While meeting or speaking with people, one must always smile as it makes even difficult topics easy to convey. Be it in dance, work, family get-togethers, or on any occasion, I make sure to have a happy and welcoming face. This gesture not only makes people feel comfortable with me but also spreads positive vibes anywhere I am.  I am trying to date to spread my smile and encourage everyone as much as I can!