Quiet Leadership: A Lesson in True Influence

I’ve always admired leaders who command a room with their presence. But recently, I’ve come to appreciate a different kind of leadership: the quiet, patient kind I have the privilege of working with now, true masters of influence. Instead of relying on loud directives, they lead by example. Their unwavering integrity, empathy, and resilience are infectious. They patiently guide the team, empowering us to take ownership of our work.

As true leaders, they walked the talk, aligning their actions with their words, building trust and respect among their team members. By showing us how things are done, they empower us to take ownership and develop our own skills. They foster a culture of accountability, collaboration, and continuous improvement. Their inspiring leadership motivates me to strive for excellence.

This experience has challenged my own perception of leadership. It’s not always about being the loudest voice in the room. Sometimes, the most impactful leaders are the ones who listen, who inspire, and who lead by example.

It is an assumption that leaders need to have an answer to every question, problem, dilemma that the team or organization meets.

Over the years I have worked with people- some who have lived in the glory of know it all and some who have admitted that they do not know how to do it or what to do.

But something that have stood for me is that best leaders understand that they do not know everything. They will have a vision, purpose and a sense of direction. But they take pride in learning from others, value growth and invest in themselves too. After all, ‘I don’t know is a powerful place to be in too.’

During my early days at Microsoft in the 90s, I had the privilege of speaking at a number of project launches.

During one such event, as the Location Head (a fancy designation), in the Q&A session, there were tons of questions.

One of the senior leaders, who was attending the product launch, posed a question that was technical in nature.

Coming from the business side, I was not one hundred percent sure of the answer to the question.
 
Although there were a few hundred people in the audience, I decided to let go and showcase my vulnerability and said, “I don’t know. I will clarify and come back to you.”

There was stunned silence in the audience and then I heard a few people clap and others joined.

The cheer from the audience has always stood with me and my belief, “There is nothing wrong in showcasing vulnerability with courage and conviction”.
 
And it reiterates my belief that leadership needs a balance of courage, curiosity, and vulnerability.
 
I am curious to hear about the myths you have busted in your leadership journey.

Early in my career, my colleagues and I used to play gully cricket outside the office after work. Our concrete pitch was small, just 10 feet wide and 15 feet long, and the rules were unique—batsmen didn’t need to run, and a one-bounce catch was still an out. Each evening, sharp at 5 pm, we would gather with great energy for short matches that sometimes stretched until 7 pm.

The games were a perfect blend of joy and competitiveness, and those moments are some of my most cherished memories. One day, during an intense match, I was on the sidelines cheering my team. We were about to win when I made a playful comment to a respected leader who was on the opposite team.

The comment irritated him, and in a moment of frustration, he threw the ball at me with a lot of force. The ball narrowly missed my face and I felt like a rocket passing by. The atmosphere changed instantly, and everyone felt uneasy. I was shocked and wondered how someone I admired and looked up to as a leader could ever behave like this.

However, I quickly realized my comment had triggered his reaction, so I tried to move on. After the match, I struggled to focus on work as the incident replayed in my mind. Sensing my restlessness, the leader stepped out and returned half an hour later.

He called me to his cabin and handed me a card that read, “I am sorry.” With tears in his eyes, he hugged me and said, “I am human too. I lost control and acted out of anger. I feel ashamed. I’m truly sorry.”

This moment shattered the myth that leaders can’t admit mistakes without losing authority. He didn’t just preach values—he lived by them, showing that owning mistakes is a mark of true leadership.

I am sure many of us, be it a young professional or even a senior leader, is no exception to the imposter syndrome. I think it is a biological phenomenon and the way we navigate our mind, body, heart and soul, during that time defines who we truly are.

For many of you, who are in my network, may recall that I had the opportunity to follow the principle of AND in my life, through my integration of my interests and passion in the space of dance and performing arts. Earlier it was an “evergreen” OR state, where I had almost left that part of me hibernating for close to 25 years.

Within 8 months of giving my first solo dance performance, after a 25 year hiatus, things changed. I see my ability to progress vision to reality, improve. I see my ability to launch new initiatives to improve my role in the space of innovation for my organisation, through improved peripheral vision.

The point here is, leadership without embracing diversity, inclusivity and creativity is only helping you operate at 40% of your true capability. This is my experience.

So break the myth that you need to live a life filled with ORs and IFs, to portray your focussed leadership. You have the potential to lead a life filled with ANDs and amplify your focus and leadership potential.

Picture:
Left – Launching the Tripura ACE Foundation, through an inclusive performing arts festival #Tripuranthara which even had stalwarts and legends like Narthaki Nataraj perform.
Right – My recent dance recital 10 days ago, all happening amidst a juggling act.

I know my message is nothing unique, it is what many have done before me and will do after me too. The point here, is Are you doing it?

What’s one myth about leadership I’ve personally seen broken?

“Good leaders never show vulnerability.”

This couldn’t be further from the truth. Early in my career, I believed that to lead effectively, you had to be unshakable—always composed, always confident, always “perfect.” But one of the most impactful leaders I worked with shattered that notion entirely.

In the middle of a challenging project—a time when our entire team was feeling the pressure—this leader admitted to us, “I don’t have all the answers right now.” There was no covering it up with false certainty. Instead, they followed it with, “But I trust this team to figure it out together, and I’m here to support you every step of the way.”

That moment changed everything for me. Their vulnerability didn’t make them look weak—it made them relatable, approachable, and human. It brought the team closer, made us more determined, and created an environment where collaboration thrived.

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers or projecting untouchable perfection. True leadership is about creating trust, fostering open dialogue, and owning moments of uncertainty with integrity.

To all the leaders who embrace their humanity and lead with authenticity: you’re showing the rest of us the power of vulnerability.

When I was a young journalist, hustling to meet deadlines and chasing stories, I thought leadership meant being loud, assertive, and always in control. But the best bosses I’ve had proved me wrong—quietly, softly, and with incredible strength.
 
One editor silently rolled up their sleeves and joined me in laying out newspaper pages when the team was lean, ensuring everything went out on time without a single complaint. Another boss took the blame for a mistake I made—no finger-pointing, no drama, just a calm conversation about how I could improve. And then there was the one who pushed me far out of my comfort zone, challenging me to take on more, but without hovering or micromanaging.
 
They weren’t flashy or loud. They didn’t lead with ego. They led with kindness, trust, and a deep commitment to empowering their teams.
 
These experiences taught me that leadership isn’t about how much noise you make—it’s about how much trust, space, and confidence you build in others.
 
To all the quiet, soft-spoken leaders out there making a big impact in small ways: you’re proof that true strength doesn’t need to shout.